Unforgivable is a compelling story about the challenges which people face and the difficulties they endure. It is a tribute to the spirit that finds the will to live and fight against almost unbeatable odds.
This very human story is one of love and hate, positive and negative emotion. Moreover, the anecdotes provide a glimpse into the lives of those who lived before and during World War II, as well as the years immediately afterwards.
Life is complicated. How can people possibly handle hardships such as these? Is it possible to rebuild one’s life? Is it possible to love in the midst of the times in which this family lived? Can we forgive in a world where there is both hatred and the courage to keep going?
While reading Unforgivable, readers will wrestle with their own faith and whether they could be forgiving and loving in the midst of their own stories. Perhaps they will find some peace, and even inspiration, in the heroic tales of survival in the midst of tragedy. Certainly, the book and its stories will continue to impact the readers, but will they be able to make sense out of what occurred?
Finally, as a rabbi reading this, the stories raise important theological issues about belief and the role which the Divine plays or doesn’t play in our lives. When a song leader/musician, Debbie Friedman wrote her prayer for healing, she suggested that we should find the courage to make our lives a blessing. She also writes that she hopes the Divine will give those who suffer a refuah shelamah, a recovery of body, mind, and spirit. That is my prayer, as well.
–Rabbi Bruce Aft, George Mason University, Fairfax, VA
WOW for this book!! I was completely immersed in Frits’s story, so moving! So infuriating!
Unforgivable is truly a timely book. We are now hearing about the horrors the Native Americans suffered in both American and Canadian boarding schools. Unfortunately, this is nothing new. The main character of Unforgivable, Frits, was not forcibly removed from a loving family, but he was placed in an abusive children’s home.
Moreover, Unforgivable describes a view of life during WWII, which has historical and present-day importance, in these days of rampant nationalism and Holocaust denial.
As I read about Frits the boy, I wondered if he would be able to rise above his mistreatment; it was in no way assured. I suffered with him as he seemed destined to be broken by the mean nurse in charge. I admired his inner strength and concern for his little brother and the other children. When his cousins and friends are taken away by the Nazis, Frits wonders why. Of course, as an adult reader, I know what happened to Jewish people, children included, and I was appalled.
The description of Frits’s life after the war ended is also valuable. There are so many barriers to his becoming a good man. His trials weren’t fair and his mother a hindrance. His desire for schooling and brilliance at technology make the reader cheer him on, but will that help?
As an aside, I expect that the reader will both value and cringe at the description of courtship customs of that time in the Netherlands. Is it possible for Frits and Meta’s relationship to progress in spite of those customs and the other barriers?
It has been several weeks since I finished this book (in only two sittings), but it has continued to haunt me. I strongly recommend Unforgivable.
–Bruce Hann, Emeritus Professor of Literature and Rhetoric, DMACC, Ankeny, IA
This is actually the Foreword, but it is so lovely, I included it here, too!
When I got to meet Frits Evenbly in his last years, I could tell he was quite the character—especially by the effect of his personality and his giftings on his daughter (and my friend) Caroline. I loved seeing for myself how he loved and supported Caroline in her personality and giftings.
What I didn’t know was why he was quite the character. Until I read Unforgivable.
His childhood traumas, one stacked on another in ways that made me wince, had scooped him out until he was bigger on the inside than he was on the outside. I literally did wince as I read portions of his story, my heart wrenched with compassion and horror for what he experienced as a boy.
I had heard about abuses in war-torn communities, but Unforgivable educated me in ways I will never forget without being gratuitous. Just . . . heart-moving.
As I read it, I wanted to know how the story ended, but I didn’t want it to end. I love books like that.
Now I know that meeting Frits wasn’t just a pleasant encounter for me, but a great honor. I’m confident you will wish that you, too, had the opportunity to meet the man.
–Sue Bohlin, Speaker and Author, Probe Ministries
In today’s tumultuous times, many feel the world has never seen darker days. But those who lived through the horrors of the Second World War surely felt the same as they watched the world crumble around them. As a serious scholar who has done extensive historical research, Caroline Crocker’s book provides a poignant reminder that humanity has persevered through unimaginable adversity before.
In chronicling her father Frits’ harrowing childhood during WWII and occupied the Netherlands, Crocker illuminates the resilience of the human spirit. Frits overcame tremendous trauma and loss to live a full life, raise a family, and leave a legacy of love. His story serves as an inspiration that even after the darkest nights, there is still hope for a brighter tomorrow. For anyone struggling through pain or hardship, this book conveys a timeless message: no matter how broken the world seems, healing and wholeness are possible.
Crocker’s work promises to provide an uplifting perspective on finding light in some of history’s bleakest eras. Unforgivable reminds us that courage and compassion can endure any challenge, from war to pandemics. Frits’ inspirational journey shows the world not only what we have overcome but what we can overcome.
In this emotional and heartfelt story, author Caroline Crocker brings the reader into the traumatic life of her father. Based on letters and other documents sharing his true experiences, the author provides details of the day-to-day journey that shaped her father into the man he became. I read and cried, read and cried. I was amazed at how he found joy in simple things. A great read.
–Melissa Henderson, Award Winning Author
Caroline Crocker’s engaging telling of the story of her father’s traumatic life invites the reader not only to reflect on the many challenges he faced, but also to consider the nature of forgiveness which it raises. It’s a great way to think about such weighty matters, and I recommend it warmly.
–The Revd Dr Justyn Terry, Vice Principal and Academic Dean, Wycliffe Hall, Oxford
Such a personal and profound story. I feel privileged to have read it and am struck by the character and endurance of Frits. What a man! This book is a treasure.
–Susan Alexander Yates, Author and Speaker
“War is hell” – so goes the saying about geo political warfare. But so is one’s private war. This story tells the story of two brave young boys, growing up in Nazi-occupied Holland, each warring against internal and external enemies, only to see much later that, somehow, they survived and overcame the extremes of abuse, abandonment, and apathy of those that should have provided them normal protection and care. Frits and Jan will find their way into your heart, and you will not only be wiser about the unsung casualties of warfare, you will be better for it.
–David Case, Christian Studies teacher, Trinity Christian School, Fairfax, VA
This is a wonderful book. The dialogue is filled with compassion and wit. I could not read any more in a sitting, because I had to take a break from the hardships of Frits and his brother. It is amazing they were able to have anything like normal lives after their treatment.
I intend to read the book again.
–Dr. Mary Vander Maten, Dean Math, Science and Engineering (ret.), Northern Virginia Community College, Annandale, VA
As I read “Unforgivable”, I remembered the words of Samwise Gamgee, one of the heroes of Tolkien’s masterpiece, Lord of the Rings.
It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.
The sufferings of so many during the 2nd Great War have been rehearsed many times, but regardless of the repetition, every story stays with us in part because they speak of the dogged determination of men, women, and children to keep going no matter what. The resilience of men like Frits and Jan, who survived neglect, abuse, and of course war, reminds us that there is something good in this world and it’s worth fighting for. In the darkness and danger of this story, we glean many lessons from the past gifted to us for the present…if we would only listen and learn from them.
The scars of the wars that ripped families apart are still a daily part of life here in Europe. Bitterness and anger often lie just beneath the surface generations later. But those who have moved on to bask in the warm rays of a new era, are those who, like Frits, are firmly resolved to forgive and move forward.
I highly recommend this book as it truly draws you to the horror that was life at that time while demonstrating that God’s love is still greater than the depravity of humanity.
–The Rev Dr Johannes WH van der Bijl, SAMS-USA Missionary, Chaplain, Langham Author