I recently had a comment on a Facebook post about the book I’m writing about my dad’s childhood: Unforgivable. It went along the lines of, “That’s not a good title for a Christian to choose.” I beg to differ.
You see, much of what happened during WWII (and any war) is totally unforgivable. When did wanton destruction, rape, and murder become anything less? The Old Testament mandated the death penalty for murder, some rapes, and even cursing your parents. For more on this, read the excellent article here.
In Unforgivable, I describe how my father was abused and neglected, pretty much from birth onwards. So many children are suffering the same, many under worse circumstances than Dad. Jesus Himself said, “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.” And who would suggest that an abusive childhood does not play into the tendency to get into trouble as an adult? I’m sure Jesus thinks child abuse is unforgivable.
The confusion comes from Jesus’ own words, where He repeatedly tells us that we have to forgive. Seventy times seven times we need to forgive the brother who sins against us (Mt 18:22). If we don’t, we won’t be forgiven. We can read that in the Lord’s prayer. Did Jesus forget that some things are totally unforgivable? Before we address that, let’s take a short detour.
Many years ago, I came across a lady (call her Doris) whose previous husband repeatedly raped her daughters, so much so that they were totally dysfunctional. With tears in her eyes, Doris told me she would never forgive him and, if that meant she went to Hell, sobeit. There was nothing I could say, so I just prayed for her. One morning in church, everyone jumped as Doris jumped to her feet, shouting, “I did it! I did it!” and “I’m free!” As Corrie ten Boom said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.” Doris was free.
Very few would assert that what Doris’ husband did was forgivable. Nobody would say the Holocaust was. But think about it. Logic tells us that, if something is forgivable, then it doesn’t really need much forgiveness. Let me say that another way. Forgiving is NOT the same as saying the offense did not occur. If the offense didn’t occur, no forgiveness is needed. And, if the offense is HUGE, the forgiveness must be, too.
Several people have committed pretty unforgivable offenses against me. And, I’m ashamed to say, I’ve done unforgivable things both to others and to the God who made and loves them. That’s why Jesus had to die. We’ve heard it so often, but let me repeat it again. Jesus died for our sins because, without that huge sacrifice, that of the death of God’s only Son, they are unforgivable. His death means that, even though our sins are unforgivable and remain so, we are forgiven.
The title of the book will remain Unforgivable. Pray for me that I can bring the hope of God out through my writing.